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Trump Wins $400M Slander Lawsuit Against Pelosi

It’s been years in the making and no one is more pleased to have it over with than President Donald J. Trump.

After battling one of the vilest women in congress, Nancy Pelosi, Trump has come out victorious! His favorite attorney, Rudy Gullioni filed a lawsuit against Pelosi in her home state of California.

People were sure this case was lost from the start, considering it was being tried in liberal land, however, justice prevailed.

In the suit, Trump claimed Pelosi had spent his entire presidency slandering his good name. Since that time, his businesses have lost billions of dollars in profits. Many say those lost profits are due to the pandemic. However, Trump’s legal team say it is due to Pelosi’s endless witch hunts.

Fortunately, a jury of 12 men, all named Jethro, ruled in the Donald’s favor, awarding the Trumps a grand total of $400 million.

Unfortunately, Trump will net in the negative numbers on this deal, as he owes the Russians over $430 million, due yesterday.

Joe Barron, the witness for the defense team, overheard Milania in the hallway exclaim:

“I can go shopping, yes?!?! I’ve missed shopping! Now that he is finished with that playing president nonsense, I can get back to MY life. Ugh what a nightmare that all was.”

The former first lady is looking forward to lounging on the beach in a string bikini with a little white fluffy dog while her humble servant Sven serves her cocktails and little smokies. She loves those tiny sausages — so full of flavor, but not so filling.

No, seriously, she likes the little ones. She says the larger ones are really just a waste. Hotdog…hallway…all that.

Nancy Pelosi doesn’t have $400 million dollars, so it’s good that this was a fictional lawsuit. Whew, she dodged that one. But, it was close!

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