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Trump To Announce DeSantis As VP, Replacing Pence

President Donald J Trump, as we still call him, is readying for his return to the White House shortly. With rumors abound that he was going to pick Ivanka as his #2 shot down, the real replacement for Mike Pence has been revealed. Sources close to the president have said that Ron DeSantis of Florida will be Trump’s Vice President.  Trump has been eyeing the Republican Florida governor for some time now and is ready to make it official.

Trump has been said to be extremely pleased by DeSantis’s form of governing. “Just look what he’s done with Florida” trump quipped, heaping praise on the Florida republican. “I’m a proud Florida resident now, and Ron DeSantis is my governor. I respect him, he respects me, we have a mutual respect together and have the same ideas when it comes to leading”. Donald Trump is a fan of DeSantis, and it’s no mystery why.

Trump is especially impressed with DeSantis’s handling of the pandemic in Florida. It’s almost as if Ron DeSantis took Trump’s own playbook and improved on it. Instead of simply ignoring it and pretending it will just “disappear”, DeSantis is doubling down on freedom. And that’s what matters. Freedom. The federal government will have ventilators and other supplies that Florida is running out of. It’s no big deal!

Ron DeSantis would make the perfect Vice President for Donald Trump, and they both know it. They know that because it’s obvious they don’t know much else. But DeSantis ticks off every box. Racist? Yep.  Only concerned with power? Check! Ultra small manhood and makes up for it with power? Check check check!!!! DeSantis is exactly what Trump needs to win and to succeed. Imagine the gaslighting between the two. It’ll be incredible.

Joseph Barron, Presidential historian, was not surprised that Trump will announce DeSantis as his running mate. “They’re both human garbage that gets their rocks off by being racist pieces of shit and killing as many of their constituents as possible with a voting block who still worships them. DeSantis really would be a go to guy for a massive idiot like Trump. They’ll have America destroyed in no time.”  Boy oh boy this reporter just can’t wait.

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