NRA Releases List Of Guns Biden Plans To Ban in 2021

While the files themselves are as guarded as the NRA’s membership and gun registry, a source inside the Biden transition team, who may or may not work for Joe Biden, says certain items on the list have been cleared to release to the public:

“We know that the AR-15 is high on the list. Anything that looks or works like an AR-15, designed specifically to kill human beings, will no longer be available for sale.”

We asked the current head of the ATF, who told us that the source is probably “smoking dope.”

“Probably something from the ‘dispensary’ if you know what I mean.”

We do, good sir. We do. Anyway, the list is said to include weapons that look like they belong in an episode of that Jason whatshisface show with the kid from The Pacifier who just wanted to act.

According to a source close to the source, the list will also include recently legalized versions of the Claymore, Stinger missile, and a flame thrower recipe Vietnam forgot. On purpose.

The Trump administration has accused the Biden team of being even worse on guns than Obama, to which the Biden team responded, “He didn’t take away a single gun, you idiots.”

It was a tense look into how the gun lobby will lose a spot in the corner of the Oval Office with Putin’s caddy. The NRA will lose it’s hold on the office and a Siberian man who hasn’t spoken in 41 years will lose his best friend and head back to Moscow to pull irons for Vlad.

It’s a sad day, Patriots. And it’s not even noon yet.