In a development that will surprise no one who closely follows the news, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and her equally corrupt husband have lost…everything.
Their Napa Valley winery, their house in San Francisco, all the money they stole directly from US taxpayers…it’s all gone, seized by the Feds after an extensive IRS audit proved that Pelosi had been embezzling from taxpayers for decades.
Following the very legal and not at all corrupt orders from President Donald Jebediah Trump to go over every line in every tax return that the Pelosis had filed since 1975, the IRS found a completely believable and not at all satirical amount of fraud.
As a result, the Midwestern District of California Circuit Court of Chicanery handed down an order that the Pelosis, their adult children, their grandchildren, their gardeners, Nancy’s hairdresser, the guy who makes the labels for their wine bottles, and the dog walker must forfeit all of their assets.
Barrister Sandy Batt, Esq., the head of the Circuit Court, vowed that justice will be served. “We cast a very wide net, and we’re expecting the little fish — that wine label guy in particular — to sing like birds about the corruption they witnessed over the years.
We know that everyone hates the Pelosi family and we’ll all point at them and laugh when all they have left is the clothes on their backs and a beat up 1986 Corolla that we found in the back of one of their garages.”
When reached for comment, the dog walker was nearly speechless.
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“I love the Pelosis and I’ve never seen them act badly in any way. They always give me a big holiday bonus and there’s no way I have any information that could be used against them.”
Likely story, dog walker. Likely story.