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Last Episode of ‘The View’ To Air at End of Month

After a host of difficulties, mostly stemming from the mouth of host Whoopi Goldberg and her portly girl-Friday Joy Behart, television talk program The View has finally reached the end of it’s amiable run.

Now it’s going to be as forgotten as Marjorie Taylor Greene’s anal virginity.

According to ABC Daytime Television producer Joe Konders, the show has long since reached it’s zenith, and thanks to a couple of massive lawsuits from firearm enthusiast Kyle Rittenhouse and buckets of bad blood from the general public, the network feels the safest option is to cut and run.

“The View and it’s verbose yentas are finally retiring, and that’s a good thing,” he commented to Joe Rogan on the popular podcast.  “We’re putting them out to pasture like old Holsteins.  They’ll all be set up in one house in New York, ‘The Real Life’ style, and that will lead into ‘The View – Hardcore’, our new replacement.”

The final episode of the program is slated to air on February 30th, and will include guests such as Dolly Parton, Benza Lance, and Steven Ashbaucher, the oldest living masturbator on Earth.

Honorable mention to Matt Goetz, who uses both hands and a foot.

Goldberg, for her part, is excited for this new phase in her career.

“The View Hardcore is gonna be totally sick.  You’re all gonna love it.  We’re having an ‘American Gladiators’ type of competition in the premiere with The Rock and Andy Dick.  Check your local listings.”

Will you be sad to see the end of The View on the thirtieth?  I know I will be.  And it will certainly put a crimp in the yanky habits of Ashbaucher, who will no doubt be forced to turn to Wheel of Fortune for his releases.  Such a shame.

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