The great state of Texas has had a rough week. It has endured a storm of biblical proportions. Snow and freezing temperatures have caused power outages across the state leaving at least 23 dead and millions struggling to keep warm. Frozen pipes have left many without running water, and some people don’t even have a working internet connection.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott has reached out to president Biden for emergency assistance, and Biden has responded with a flat-out “No.”
“Texans been given enough money already. If they don’t know how to spend it wisely, taxpayers from other states shouldn’t have to endure their mistakes. Besides, they have all that oil down there. I haven’t seen them try to burn that yet to keep warm. Even that wack job Elon Musk set up all those treadmills along the border to restore power. The last thing they need is another handout. Texans wear boots. I assume those boots have straps they can pull themselves up by.”
Such callousness in the face of a tragedy has never been shown by an American President. Even FDR spoke more sympathetically of the Japanese during World War II.
Heck, Trump even showed sympathy for the communist state of California after the wildfires their misguided governor Gavin Newsom started. Despite winning 46 percent of the vote in Texas, Biden seems to hold a grudge against the Lone Star State.
Perhaps it is due to his state size envy (Biden was a senator for Delaware), or simply a result of his senility, either way, his resentment is unfounded.
Texas is a big state with a lot of resources. It is a vital part of our union, steeped in southern pride. The fact that there are millions of people freezing their balls off in Texas right now is a national concern.
However, Dallas Cowboys fans can take solace in the fact that they have no balls to freeze off.