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AOC Loses Congressional Seat After Census Results

To the delight of many potatriots and conservative human lint rollers online and in nursing homes everywhere, news has broken that thanks to what are probably overblown, if not dickheadedly twisted reports from the usual Newsmax and Fox News simpletons, Representitive Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will lose her position completely, thanks to her district falling 89 people shy of the mark it needs in New York.

While the initial estimate appears to be true, the consequences of such an event don’t require the immediate dissolution of a sitting legislator, like Spider Man at the end of Infinity War or Lindsey Graham when his wife removes her clothing.

The addition of AOC in particular seems to stem from the congresswoman personally making efforts to extend the census-taking time, since many weren’t counted due to the effects of Donald Trump’s plague.  But, naturally, since the Orangutanian disgraced President appeals to those Americans who rarely read past the first two words of a sentence and regularly become confused by the operation of light switches, the story has risen to the top spot on Facebook pages with eagles and chubby white grandma faces as profile pictures.


Joe Barron of the Queef Week Peek news outlet explained the reality of what you’ll probably be seeing for at least the next three days on the Facebook pages of everyone who can’t be bothered with pronouns or punctuation.

“No, it doesn’t mean AOC is poof gone.  The Trump cult’s little fantasy world of rigged elections and demons and communists and Dr. Suess nuzzles is still a giant schizo pile of wishful horseshit thinking.  It’s almost as if these people can’t wait to rush in to be stupid publically.  These idiots are why we cover some bedroom walls with pillows.”


According to several early-nonsense-divers already commenting on links from serious agencies like The Epoch Times and LifeSiteNews, AOC has met her Waterloo.  Although, to them, such thoughts only confuse them more, as to why ABBA would even be involved.

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