Michael Jordan has been moving to the right for years. During his years as a basketball player from North Carolina playing in Chicago, it was easier for Jordan to embrace his liberal upbringing. All that changed, however, when Jordan decided he’d become a team owner, buying the Chicago Bulls for nearly $700 million, and an entrepreneur in the shoe business, …
Read More »Monthly Archives: November 2021
Jury Awards Sheriff Joe Arpaio $140 Million Lawsuit Against Sacha Baron Cohen
Sacha Baron Cohen thought it would be hilarious to bring some absurd conservative characters to life to troll a few “witless conservatives” in his little HBO special. It wasn’t hilarious, however, and the network lost millions. In fact, they canceled it after just one short season. Now, Cohen has been held personally responsible by a jury in Arizona for defaming …
Read More »Nancy Pelosi’s Church Asks Her To Leave Until She ‘Finds God and Gets Help’
The Archbishop of San Fransisco had to personally call on Nancy Pelosi at her home today to ask her to not come to church anymore. The decision, which was made by the local diocese but approved by Papal Decree from Rome, is a step short of excommunication. Archbishop Art Tubolls released this statement: “Until Nancy can get her demons under …
Read More »Soros Taken Into Custody for Crimes Against America
The man behind the money that funds all of the liberal trolls on the internet and all of the paid protesters currently trying to burn down the American way of life has been arrested on charges of hate crimes against the people of the United States. George Soros, billionaire snowflake and the cause of every problem in America was taken into …
Read More »Mike Ditka Has Had Enough: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired’
Few names are as recognizable in the football world as Mike Ditka. Former player, coach, and world champion, Ditka has made a name for himself as a tough-as-nails football guy. As a commentator, his no-nonsense attitude and winning hair have made him a joy to watch. And then there’s politics. Mike Ditka is a Trump guy, and he believes in …
Read More »Rittenhouse files $400 Million suit against CNN
It looks like Kyle Rittenhouse, the newest hero of true patriots, will soon have enough money to buy CNN, once he’s done suing them. Sources close to the Rittenhouse legal team have leaked to America’s Last Line of Defense that they are prepping the lawsuit to end all lawsuits for the young man, which would spring him into the 3rd position …
Read More »Kyle Rittenhouse Files $14 Million Defamation Suit Against The Obamas
The Obamas made a statement about Kyle Rittenhouse they’ll never forget. They said that he shouldn’t have been in Kenosha with a gun, and that the deaths of the two pedophiles were tragic. Today, Attorney Art Tubolls filed suit against the Obamas on Rittenhouse’s behalf, to the tune of $14 million. According to court records, the plaintiff, Rittenhouse, and his mom …
Read More »‘Ruined’ Alec Baldwin Forced to File for Bankruptcy
Alec Baldwin’s career and life as he knew it are officially over. The actor, who pointed a loaded gun at an innocent woman and pulled the trigger, is being forced to sell off all of his possessions and file for bankruptcy. According to a source close to the Baldwins who may or may not have direct knowledge of the situation, …
Read More »2024 Biden Challenger Kenneth McCormick (D-CO) Dies in Suspicious Accident
State Senator Kenneth McCormick, a fixture in the Colorado Democratic party and a rising star at the national level, has been found dead under highly suspicious circumstances. Senator McCormick was a well known moderate Democrat who had been openly critical of President Joe Biden as well as Hillary Clinton during her 2016 campaign. Earlier this month Senator McCormick had filed …
Read More »‘Merry Christmas’ is Officially Banned in Federal Buildings and on Federal Land – Jenn Psaki
Here we go, folks. Just as predicted, the War on Christmas has begun. Jenn Psaki has decreed from her sleepy master’s holy pulpit that “Merry Christmas” will not be tolerated on any federal property. Psaki’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, says she’s serious, and not just because she has mid-level security clearance as Press Secretary and no actual power to do anything, …
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