Home / 2021 / July

Monthly Archives: July 2021

Records Show Biden’s Son Used Air Force One 26 Times in 2014

The year was 2014 : Dark lipstick was “in” again.  “How I Met Your Mother” disappointed millions with an ending more annoying than the show itself.  Lorde assured us that we’d never be Roooyyyaaallllss.  And according to recently unearthed flight records by the White House Department of Transportation, former Vice President Joe Biden’s son Hunter took the liberty of “borrowing” …

Read More »

Adam Schiff’s Daughter is Dating the Whistleblower

Sources in the office of the Director of Information for the RNC have revealed that they have proof that the whistleblower isn’t just a Democrat operative — she’s dating Adam Schiff’s daughter. Karen Schiff, the 26-year-old pharmaceutical rep from California, worked in the same research lab as the whistleblower’s half-sister, Yolanda. According to our source, who may or may not …

Read More »

Malia Obama Admits She’s ‘Not Related’ To Ex-Pres Barack

Malia Obama was with friends recently, having a blueberry latte and a hazelnut scone in Chicago, when she dropped a major bombshell: She said she’s “not related” to Barack Obama, former president and p[osibly a Muslim. The news spread after someone sitting within earshot texted her friend, Miranda, who immediately sent the news out on Snapchat, Instagram, and Pornhub. The …

Read More »

Abbott Says Texas Border Wall Will Be ‘Electrified’

“Don’t mess with Texas,” the old saying goes.  The Lone Star State has always had it’s own unique brand of pride and cartoonishly violent stubbornness, for a former Mexican territory that couldn’t even manage to hold down one fort and has legally outlawed the Encyclopedia Britannica.  Not kidding. In a recent press junket last week, governor Greg Abbott announced the …

Read More »

Ashli Babbit Named Woman Of The Year

Great news, Patriots! Ashli Babbit, the hero of the January 6th patriot rally at the Capitol, is finally being recognized for her sacrifice. She will receive the prestigious “Woman of the Year” award from a world-renowned institution responsible for the cultural development and education of American children across the south. Along with the award comes a substantial cash prize for …

Read More »

Supreme Court Will Hear Case To Strip Nancy Pelosi Of Her Gavel

According to a source inside the Supreme Court, the justices have voted 6-3 along party lines to hear a case to strip Nancy Pelosi of her gavel. The source, which may or may not be completely credible or real, has delivered valuable information in the past that has made hyperbolic headlines soar for months on end. The case was brought …

Read More »