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Monthly Archives: May 2021

AOC Loses Congressional Seat After Census Results

To the delight of many potatriots and conservative human lint rollers online and in nursing homes everywhere, news has broken that thanks to what are probably overblown, if not dickheadedly twisted reports from the usual Newsmax and Fox News simpletons, Representitive Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will lose her position completely, thanks to her district falling 89 people shy of the mark it …

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Pelosi’s Office Spent More on Alcohol Last Year Than Food

The Congressional Petty Cash Office has released its report for the past year’s spending. Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, had the highest petty cash bill in Congress at $105,086. The number, while high, isn’t uncommon for speakers who have a lot of guests and serve a lot of breakfast and lunch foods for meetings. What is uncommon, according to …

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Obama Spotted At White House Every Day Last Week

Former President Barack Obama hasn’t been in office since January of 2017, but that hasn’t stopped him from being at the White House. Obama has been spotted and photographed at the White House every single day in the last week, and sources say he’s been a constant fixture there since the day after Biden took office. White House officials who …

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Biden Appoints First Illegal Immigrant To Cabinet Position

Joe Biden has made it a point to do everything the opposite of President Donald J Trump. We’re going to assume that also means Making America Great Again, because what Biden just did is quite the opposite of that. Biden appointed the first-ever illegal immigrant to a cabinet position. This person came with one of the last caravans from South …

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The Clintons Are Finally Being Investigated For Murder

According to sources close to the District Attorney of Sandybatt County, Arkansas, Bill and Hillary Clinton have been officially named as persons of interest in the death of 3 women in the late 1970s. The story, which fits the narrative perfectly that the Clintons are killers, has no basis in fact and has little to no credibility as actual news. …

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Columbia Revokes Obama’s Degree, ‘We Have Evidence of Fraud’

Barack Hussein Obama is no stranger to controversy and fraud. Everyone who is anyone knows the man didn’t make it to the top through hard work, morals, and stunning good looks. OBUMMER! Now, as fate would see it to be, Columbia University’s School of Harvard Business Associates in conjunction with Perdue and Duke, with a sprinkle of Yale and Notre …

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All 50 State Republican Parties Vote Trump For Party Chair

Donald Trump has been officially voted the Party Chair ad Litem of the Republican Party in a secret ballot from all 50 states. The position, which comes with the responsibilities of the party chair and the power of the leader of the party, has no official capacity and isn’t recognized by either party or any state as having any authority …

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FBI Investigation Uncovers 256 Emails Between Schiff and Epstein

The rabbit hole of Epstein’s heinous crimes seems to get deeper each day. It appears that every day someone new is revealed to have taken numerous trips to Epstein Isle for “unknown” reasons. Because of this, it is assumed they are perverts. This time, according to an FBI investigation, it has been revealed that none other than Adam Schiff was …

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Trump Wins $400M Slander Lawsuit Against Pelosi

It’s been years in the making and no one is more pleased to have it over with than President Donald J. Trump. After battling one of the vilest women in congress, Nancy Pelosi, Trump has come out victorious! His favorite attorney, Rudy Gullioni filed a lawsuit against Pelosi in her home state of California. People were sure this case was …

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