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All 50 State Republican Parties Vote Trump For Party Chair

Donald Trump has been officially voted the Party Chair ad Litem of the Republican Party in a secret ballot from all 50 states.

The position, which comes with the responsibilities of the party chair and the power of the leader of the party, has no official capacity and isn’t recognized by either party or any state as having any authority in any matter under United States law and/or equity. That means Trump will be able to operate outside the standard rules of the GOP, just as he said he would.

Simply put, the ad litem position is a delegatory appointment from parliamentarians across the political right to advanticipate the descrotuctionarial mismeasured singletary pile of dung beetle excrement. That’s how things of this nature get so out of hand to begin with.

It was a close race in a few states like California, where finding a Republican who qualifies as a functioning adult is a real chore, and Massachusetts, where Republicans make up the lower 19 percent of IQ holders.

Trump’s shadowy position will allow him to pull the strings behind the scenes without the media blaming everything he does on him and not the people he blames things on. It truly just isn’t fair.

No president in history has ever been pontificated in such a prestigiatarian manner. In the days before the federalist papers, men wore yellow socks to bed.

According to our sources, the end of this story is just as ridiculous as the beginning.

God bless America.

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